How Dat Werk?! May 2017

How Dat Werk? Car Stickers and Emblems

One of my biggest pet peeves are people who put stickers or emblems on their car. I think the conversation in how they were invented went something like this:

Person One: I love social media! I can go on there and tell everyone what I think and post stuff that doesn’t really matter in the big picture.

Person Two: I know! But, the only downside is that you can’t use it while driving.

Person One: What if we could AND annoy people at the same time? With stickers!

Person Two: *mind explodes*

Growing up, the most I saw on cars were bumper stickers but now, there’s an epidemic. My most loathed ones are the “In Memory of,” and the family stickers with the various different characters that range from Star Wars, Disney, cartoons, etc. Let’s talk about the former sticker first. You’ve instantly turned your car into a movable headstone. I get that you loved this person, but do you really think they’d want everyone to know when they died? And also, can’t people take that information and use the decedent’s identity to open up credit and so forth? I mean, if dead people can vote, why not buy a big screen TV? The family stickers are hilariously annoying. I saw one the other day where it had one woman and 10 cats! I wish I was kidding. And don’t get me started with the people that have the Jesus fish on their cars. They are probably the worst examples of a Christian driving; how quickly they forget who they are while they are flipping you off.

We live in a duel-minded society – we want people to know what we’re doing, what we’re eating, but then also want to be private. People post and tweet, but then keep their accounts locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Many of these cars have tinted windows, which reinforces this thought of “this is who I am” or “these people are my family” but “don’t look in my car.” Seriously? How dat werk? If someone was stalking you and they saw a sticker on your car that showed you had 3 kids and two cats, or someone you loved recently passed away, don’t you think that they would use that information against you?

We’re supposed to be as safe as possible on the road but it’s so extremely cluttered with cars and their moveable graffiti. Enough is enough with this stickers and emblems. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your family, who you are, what you support, and who you loved, but does it need to be on the back of your busted car? Short answer is, “No;” the long answer is, “Hell no.”

This is an ancient hieroglyphic, which translates into, “Sad.”


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