How Dat Werk?! July 2017

How Dat Werk?! For-Profit Colleges

This is an actual photo of Kermit drinking Woke Tea.
Before I begin this rant, I’d like to note that not all that I say will apply to every single student and graduate of these places. However, the insane amount of people that have spoken out against them is appalling.

When I was around nineteen, I hit an academic crisis – being in college for a little over a year made me realize how long the process of getting a higher education, and then hopefully a job shortly thereafter was going to take YEARS! I grew weary and wanted a shortcut…and that’s when I’d watch those “You can get your medical degree in only nine months” commercials with the urban-looking person, telling you to get off the couch and do something with your life. I wanted that – a professional job AND getting off the couch? What a deal! I remember telling my dad, and after a slew of expletives, he said no and that it wouldn’t be a wise decision. Wise indeed.

For-profits, regardless in everything they lack, know their potential clientele extremely well. They are working low income jobs, have families or big responsibilities, and want to break out from the monotony in their lives. These people are preyed upon because in their pursuit to get a higher education, for-profits take advantage with promises of a better life – the American Dream. Meanwhile, people take out loans, use their VA benefits, and their own personal money and time with a goal of getting something out of the deal. But what usually happens is that people are saddled with debt they can’t repay and a piece of paper that doesn’t help them get a job.

Fun fact: this dance move was invented when MC Hammer saw someone trying to escape for-profit college recruiters.
These people were sold a dream but got magic beans that didn’t produce. Even worse still are the celebrity endorsements from radio dj’s, rappers, comedians, and behind the scenes, politicians. So, selling an education that doesn’t teach anything but an expensive lesson? How dat werk?! I don’t know how those people sleep at night knowing that they’ve incapacitated thousands upon thousands of people who just wanted a better life for them and their families. It’s like shooting a horse in the leg…that already has a broken leg. But it’s okay…he has two more!

A good rule of thumb for anything that sounds too good to be true – follow the money. If it leads away from what you are putting money into, it isn’t legit. It is un-legit, which means, you must quit.


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